I don’t understand how someone can be so heartless, I can’t understand why a woman would be so cold, I mean….I do undersand, but my kids would be crushed! It’s like you’re laying bread crumbs down to find your way home and some bird just comes and picks them up, disappears for a while and then comes with vengence to grab the bag of crumbs out of your hand! You have put all this work into being there and being what you should be and she just takes it!! Rips it from you and then tells them you do not want them!!! What’s it going to take for her to see she is destroying the babies, she is mind screwing them and we can’t do anything about it!!
I’ve known my husband for around 15 years, we rode the same bus and sat together at lunch. I always described him as a “good boy.” Someone that was nice to talk to, he was kind, polite, level headed and he had this thing about him that just made you feel at ease when you were around him.
Fast forward a while and 4 years of marriage later. He is the same guy! But, as it happens, things change a litte, lessons learned change how you react to things. What attracted me to him years later, how he fathered his children.
Yea, I had seen pictures of him and his kids, saw that he was divorced and know that there are two sides to every divorce (in most cases, three sides). Like to add a note here, regardless of what the stories of how my husband and I start dating, he was DIVORCED from whats her face since the August before we started dating the next year. I was no longer in a marriage and we didn’t have any thing going on before he and whats her face divorced, don’t know which story to hit on because there are so many I have heard. haha!
I didn’t meet my three step babies for a long time, it seemed like he never “wanted” them to meet me. I would try to invite myself over when he had his babies, talk him into letting me go over to his house or something. The answer for almost six months was always no. At the time, yes I was upset, my mind wondered if he had another woman over there, if his ex wife was with him, etc….. and then it happened. I met Lucas first, the other two where in school and David wanted me to eat lunch with him, his surprise was me meeting Lucas. I wanted to question why today, why now, up in the Chick-fil-a with all these noisy kids running around?
Noisy kids, screaming at the top of their lungs, rush hour lunch in Pooler and greasy food, I was not comfortable meeting his children in this setting, but I smiled. Then I stopped thinking about my comfort and watched David and Lucas, they were as nervous as I was and David said Lucas picked Chick-fil-a when he told him they had someone special to meet! I totally missed the “someone special” part at the moment but saw this……
DAVID KNEW THAT HIS CHILDREN MEETING A NEW WOMAN IN HIS LIFE WOULD BE WEIRD, DAVID KNEW THEY MAY HAVE HAD MIXED EMOTIONS!! DAVID PUT LUCAS’ FEELINGs OVER HIS AND MINE WHEN HE ASKED ABOUT WHERE HE WANTED LUNCH!!!
To some, it may seem stupid, to me……it made me sit there and once I got what was going on (we all know it takes me a minute sometimes) I fell in love with David. Sitting in a noisy, children screaming, tightly squeezed setting, I fell in love with a man that I would end up marrying and having another child with. I met Jacob and Abbie and like Lucas, had an immediate connection. They thought I was hilarious and that it was cool that I didn’t “know” them but liked all the same food they liked! =)
David has never faltered in his father role. Yes, there have been struggles, testing times, hugs, smiles, tears and those parenting moments we hate. But, he does it as best he can. Jacob, Abbie and Lucas are thought of every day just like the three girls that live with us full time. They are just as spoiled with toys, clothes, games, tvs and everything else little kids worry about having.
So what David is robbed of isn’t material, it isn’t the ability to make sure that they have all the updated electronics, best clothes money can buy, the “right” to say that he has never missed a single ball game……..
He is being robbed of what his children want/need the most, HIS TIME!
He has been pushed out of every aspect of his children’s lives. Every new fella that has come along, has not only met her children within a week, they have been able to be alone with the children, take them to things, alone, stay the night and been told “we are gonna get married.” by whats her face. Every poor guy that has gotten wrapped up in the crazy (most learned after a while) has been placed in the “daddy” role that she has made so vacant when their daddy is literally begging to be a part of their lives. It has only worsened over time, David is dead to her and like the other lies she has made herself believe, it makes her uncomfortable to know that it isn’t the truth and when faced with the truth, she hides behind more excuses and lies.
Now, we all know that whats her face “can’t” control what he does or doesn’t do….yada yada, but she can make every second he is around or with his kids completely miserable….which she does with great pleasure.
The “image” of being a hard working, never stopping, all about the children, “REAL SINGLE MOM” is being butchered by this person and others like her. They put them selves out there as the victim……it’s all someone else’s fault that I am in this situation….blah blah blah! Funny thing is, you look past facebook, what “she says,” the gossip that has been originated by her or the facts period……more than not, you will find the “deadbeat dad” they refer to…….doing everything he can to see his children, be with his children, fight for his children etc.
Moral: THESE WOMEN ARE THE BIRDS, THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS THE FACT THAT THESE WOMEN HAVE FULLY FUNCTIONAL BRAINS, FEELINGS, THE DESIRE TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY AND ALL THE OTHER THINGS OTHER HUMANS HAVE………..BUT YET THE BIRD TAKES THE BREAD CRUMBS STRAIGHT TO HER BABIES, WHILE THE WOMEN TAKE THE CRUMBS FOR THEMSELVES AND USE TO DESTROY AND MANIPULATE OTHERS.